In Matthew 18 Jesus taught the disciples about humility in the kingdom of God and taught them how to get serious in dealing with sin . He also taught them how a humble follower of God offers forgiveness. Jesus then travels from Galilee to an area in Judea beyond the Jordan. It is here that the Pharisees find Jesus and ask Him a very loaded question.
THE CONSPIRACY
Back in Matthew chapter 12 we see the Pharisees have decided it’s time to get rid of Jesus. They’re conspiring as to how to kill him already. But they have a problem, Jesus is healing and working miracles and He is very popular. Large Crowds are following Him everywhere He goes. So, part of the conspiracy is that the Pharisees will have to run a smear campaign against Jesus in order to diminish His following. So as Jesus is in Judea, healing everyone who is in need in these large crowds, the Pharisees approach Jesus with a trick question.
Matthew 19:3 – Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”
In order to understand what is happening here and why this is a loaded question; we need some historical context. Two very prominent Rabbis in Jewish History who were responsible for the writing of the Mishnah (the writing of the oral tradition of Judaism) had differing views on the subject of divorce. One (Shammai) was a student of the other (Hillel). They agreed on most things, but on the subject of Deuteronomy 24:1 they disagreed. This verse was the part of the law dealing with when a married couple could divorce. The phrase “when she finds no favor in his eyes” in that verse was the focus of the disagreement.
Shammai took a more traditional view which was to say a man could divorce His wife only when “indecency, scandal or shame” was brought upon the family. In other words, when unchastity or adultery took place. Hillel took a broader approach. He allowed for divorce for whatever trivial desire a man had to want to send his wife away.
This topic was a contentious point in culture at this time. There were large numbers of people who came down on both sides of this issue. So, you can see what the Pharisees are setting up here. They ask this question in such a way, that Jesus will either have to take one side or the other. It’s such a hot button issue that they believe that whichever way Jesus answers will immediately cause Him to lose half of his followers. This was the first step, they had to strip Jesus of His popularity.
THE RESPONSE
Jesus, however, is up to the challenge. He will eventually directly deal with their question, but not before raising the bar.
Matthew 19:4-6 – And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his Father and Mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
The Pharisees are in the weeds with this question, Jesus raises it back up to the original intent of marriage, God’s intent. Jesus takes them not back to Deuteronomy 24, but to Genesis 1:27 and 2:24. He tells them a couple things here. First, God’s creation design for the world included marriage. Second, it was to be permanent. Joined in one flesh is to say that they become a single unit, one flesh. To tear that apart would cause great damage. In other words, Jesus tells them, divorce was never God’s intention for marriage at creation. So the Pharisees ask a follow up question of Jesus.
Matthew 19:7 – They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
The follow up question is a good one. If God doesn’t approve of divorce, then why did He give them a provision for it in the Old Testament Law? The Pharisees think they have Jesus where they want him now!
Jesus’ answer to this question ends the line of questioning and sends the Pharisees on their way until they try to get him again.
Matthew 19:8-9 – He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Jesus throws the whole thing back on them! He tells them that it was never God’s intention that they divorce, but because of the sinfulness of mankind it was necessary. But the spirit of this law was being missed in a significant way. The “certificate of divorce” was mostly a protection for the woman. At that time in history, women were not treated well. There were no social safety nets and once a woman was divorced, she was seen as an adulterer and would be unable to remarry. She also couldn’t live well as a single person. Most often, they would become destitute. So, God, in the law of Moses, allowed for this “certificate of divorce” to allow for legal divorce to allow women to remarry under the law and therefore avoid being impoverished.
Of course, this provision would also be abused over time. The “certificate of divorce” became something that was overused. And it was made to be something that made it easier for men to send their wives away if they didn’t like them anymore. Jesus deals with all of this in one concise statement. He reminds them of God’s original intent. The statement “what God has joined together, let no man separate” was intended not just for people outside the marriage but the married couple as well. It was sin that made the law necessary. And then it was sin that polluted the law even to the day Jesus is being questioned. It led to this very sensitive question that the Pharisees are using to try to harm Jesus.
Each time the Pharisees approach Jesus, they do so out of a spirit of self-righteousness and they’re always trying to put Jesus against the ropes to finally take Him down. But Jesus always puts the unrighteousness right back on them. And with this conversation, they are once again condemned.
THE DISCIPLES RESPONSE
This is a tough message, I realize. If you’re thinking to yourself that this is too high a standard, you’re not alone.
Matthew 19:10 – The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry”.
Even the disciples who are walking with Jesus every day have difficulty with this message. They come to the conclusion that if immorality is the only acceptable reason to divorce, then it’s better not to marry at all! Of course, this position is rooted in pride. If all that is considered in getting married is personal fulfillment or happiness then this seems like an unreasonable proposition. But if the purpose of marriage is to honor God and your focus is on Him and your spouse then the calling becomes much higher, it’s a kingdom calling. Jesus adds in Matt. 19:11 that not all people will be able to accept it, but it’s a gift of God for those who can. What does that mean?
CONCLUSION
What does it mean that only some can accept it? In the next 3 verses of Matthew 19 we see another situation where children are brought to Jesus, and initially it seems out of place in the gospel of Matthew. As the children are brought to Him, the disciples try to keep them away, because after all, Jesus is way too important for children. But look how Jesus responds.
Matthew 19:14-15 – “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
The disciples are still exhibiting pride. It takes great humility, like a child to come to Jesus and He tells His own disciples not to hinder them. This is an extension of the previous conversation. It takes great humility to trust God and to accept His Word, even on something as difficult as the marriage conversation brought to Him by the Pharisees. The prideful can never accept what He said, but the humble will. And even that is a gift from God, so no one can boast.